BLIND!

I'm coming to the end of my phase, and I have NO idea of what's going to happen next!!!! None.

Starting the internship... Yes, you guessed it. POMPOUS!!!! CHILDISH!!!!! AND CONVINCED I WAS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow... Talk about deceived.

The 4th Phase is supposed to be one where we begin to function in whatever area of ministry we are called to. And I haven't a clue what ministry God really wants me in.

Growing up, I was never more sure of anything as I was the call to be a missionary. And I still am sure of that call and don't doubt it. But when, God? When am I to be released in that? Certainly not now!!!! I don't know WHAT I'm to do for now...

Anyway, I have three months to hear from God about this.

What do I do if He says leave at the end of my internship? Would I have the faith to just pick up and do it?

Or what if he says I'm not to go until I'm 90 years old? What do I do in the meantime?

I know, I know.... Need not to be set in this WORKS mentality... But what does He want me to do in the meantime? I'll not have a place to live. (NOT going back to parents'!) My job is only part-time and I definitely don't feel a release to stop working there. On the contrary, I'm know I need to be there an indefinitel amount of time. And my car is STILL not working, so I can't get to work if I move anywhere else.....

Dear God!!! You can FEEL the stress on me right now... And SEE it with the nice, GIANT fever blister on my nose..... NOT funny, God!:)

I dunno... And I don't know a whole lot.